once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home
its so weird to call it the “mall”
in australia we are very creative
we call one store a “shop”
and many stores “the shops”
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract
I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet
when teaching trigonometry are they teaching us illuminati?
i get frustrated when i dont get a joke that has like 200k notes like what is it that 200,000 people understand that i dont
"I wonder what I should do today"
why do we need to watch the sky to enjoy the stars when the ultimate star is me